Posted by: feralfish | March 31, 2008

Pickle Sickles: An Epidemic

The idea of a pickle juice popsicle is…interesting. But according to their website, some children in San Antonio would be willing to end your life to get their hands on one. Pickle Sickles, the new crack? You decide…

Here is the Pickle Sickle mascot, Pickle Sickle Bob. You’ll notice his cap, repping for his gang of choice. Also he’s wearing gloves, perhaps so that he leaves no fingerprints? He sure looks like he’s throwing up gang signs too! And lastly, there’s a backpack on his back, but what is in it? Guns? Money? Drugs? Dead children who got whacked out of their mind on that sour juice? Maybe. One thing is for sure, this guy is a criminal, perhaps even a terrorist. And he’s pushing his addictive treats on our kids!

And what about the kids? These two sure looks like tough customers. Is there any doubt that the one on the left would kill you for just a taste of that sour sour juice? And how about the girl, grown giant off of pickle juice enzymes…SHE’S ONLY SIX YEARS OLD!

Watch your children, beware if you see them sporting black shirts with pickle related imagery on them. Smell their clothes for telltale scents of vinegar. And if you hear them using slang (such as “the gerkin”, “sours”, “rotten cucumbers”, “green icicles”, “the dill weed”, “green goblins”, “cold greens”, vineger phizzes”, and many others) or if you see any wrappers, get them to a drug counseling center right away! And if you hear this song bumping from their speakers, it may already be too late!

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Responses

  1. You left out “the ice spear”. The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. Oscar Wilde.

  2. The kids are cute and she does not look like she is 6.

  3. @wendy
    Those kids are addicts. They look pretty cute as the knife slides in and the other one nabs your wallet because his “pucker” is running out and he’s gotta keep his “sour”.

    I guess perhaps she could be older than 6, maybe. I’m not the best judge of age. I will admit that the look in her eyes says she’s lived a lifetime and seen things no child should see.

    @David
    Gracias big time for taking this whole thing as it is, a joke, and not bringing down the sue hammer or at least the cease and desist screwdriver. I totally do think it’s a testament to your product that children would kill for them and I must admit, there’s a little curiosity there. I’m no complete stranger to the allure of casual drugs or casual pickles. I can see the allure of combining the two. Rock on pickle promo man.

  4. Hats off to your creative “pickle” juices. We all loved the write up. Pickle Bob does have some “history” but we will leave it at that.

    We are working on the Pickle Movie where Pickle Bob saves the world from the dastardly sugar monsters and gets himself into one pickle after another. His history comes back to trip him up time and time again.


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